The Man Syndrome

Ok, ladies, maybe you know this one.

You ask your husband to fetch something out of the refrigerator. This could be any number of things – a soda, Dijon mustard, eggs, sour cream, whatever. He comes back to you empty handed saying he couldn’t find it. Now, you know that it’s in there. You put it in the refrigerator. It was there earlier in the day and you are certain it has not walked off on its own in protest over being put next to the raw meat. But he’s sticking to his guns claiming the product you want is nowhere to be found in the fridge. So, you walk over to the fridge, interrupting your activity, and pull the item out of the fridge and show it to him. Ta-da! There it is! Right in front of you! At this point, he either puts the blame on you, “Well, if you knew where it was, then why didn’t you get it?” Or he plays dumb, “It wasn’t there a minute ago. I looked.”

This, my friends, is called The Man Syndrome.

All men have it. If you think you can cure your husband of this particular syndrome, think again. It’s incurable. Treatable, yes. But at the present time there is no known cure. Early diagnosis is key.

First, early on in your marriage (or relationship/partnership – whatever – I’m sure gay men have the same syndrome), you need to be aware of the signs. For instance, does he seem to always know where his stuff is but when it comes to your stuff, he’s clueless? I’m not saying he needs to know where you keep every pair of earrings but he should be aware of the places of the home where your purse and keys are kept. If so, this is a sign of “blinders.” Just knock him over the head once in awhile and he’ll realize that you live there, too.

Another sign is his preoccupation with Sports Center. This causes him to not notice anything around him other than where the remote is located. Again, hitting him over the head every once in a while will help him get more in tune with his surroundings. You can also have him clean up so that he may remember where things go.

Aside from interrupting his ESPN viewing habits, address the kitchen duty issue. Does he help put away groceries? No? Well, then you need to encourage him into helping out. This way, any time you are asking him to get you something out of the cupboard, pantry, or fridge, then the chances of him coming back empty-handed decrease.

So, the next time you run into this situation, you know what to do. Knock him over the head, force him to put the groceries away, and make him pick up the clutter around the house while you sit and watch The Cooking Channel.